In Space No-one Can Hear Your Cliché

  “I repeat, this is the Immerin outer-system ship, Kalisa Mae, please respond, do you need assistance.” Jenkins puts it on repeat and turns his head towards the bridge's command chair. “No response again, Captain. Do you want me to leave it running or get the boys to haul it in?”


  “Get them to drag it into cargo bay two, Jenkins, we have a rendezvous to make and we've wasted too much time chasing this tin can. Probably just junk or the space grave of some idiot spacer who can't plot a course correctly.” The Captain goes back to the read-out of the engine output.


  In three hours time: “Sorry, Captain, comm's gone down. I'll get the repair crew right on it.” Jenkins routes a priority order to Watson in engineering.


  “How are we supposed to run a professional operation if everything breaks down all the time?” Mutters the Captain.


  “We're supposed to be repairmen, not junkyard wreckers, Chief.” Simpson reaches over and pulls a larger tool from the trolley.


  “The Captain wants this wreck opened up, Simmo. After what you did to the aftward engine strut getting through that airlock should be no problem for you.” Watson steps back and puts her ear defenders on.


  In three hours time: “Shit, this is all messed up, going to have to replace the entire thing eventually, but we might be able to jury-rig something. Looks like someone attacked it with the power-cutters. How do you think this happened, Chief?” Simpson pulls out a wrench and gets to work.


  “If I didn't know better, then I'd say someone did this deliberately, looks like your last effort on the shower system, Simmo. Probably an overheated coil has caused a coolant leak and explosion, just take out what we can't salvage and we'll see what spares we still have.” Watson mops her brow. “Hey did you just hear something?”


  “My calculations are that he's been dead three years. Judging by the way the escape pod's rations are mostly untouched, death occurred not long after it was launched.” Doctor Brown places the dermal probe into the steriliser.


  “But how do explain how he managed to slash himself to death?” Nurse Cawly asks, quietly. “He was alone in there and there was no weapon found on the body.”


  In three hours time: “Crewman, answer me! How did this happen? Who was it?” Doctor Brown frantically works to stop the bleeding.


  “We're losing him, Doc, there's too much blood!” Nurse Cawly looks in horror at the spreading pool he is kneeling in and glances at the shadows behind him.


  “The pod's log say its from the Aegean, records show it left the Rigel system over four years ago headed here, but never arrived, lieutenant” Denby shunts the data over to the main screen of the operations room.


  “Well, parts of it obviously arrived,” Lieutenant Moss rubs her chin. “I wonder why they never sent a distress call.”


  In three hours time: “Internal sensors are picking up something in the vents.” Denby's fingers fight the control system, bringing up the internal cameras.


  “I saw something. Lock interior bulkheads and get me security, put everything through to the bridge and sound the general alarm.” Lieutenant Moss wipes the sweat from her face. “Did you hear something?”


  “Man, can security detail on a spaceship get any more boring? Now we're just guarding a wreck in a cargo bay,” Franks stretches his back again and looks for somewhere to sit. “I mean, Sally, who exactly is going to try and steal this pile of crap?”


  “If you signed on to shoot at things then you should have joined the government peace-keeping squads, not the outer-system patrol, Gerry.” Abrahams, dusts down a cargo container and perches on it. “Relax, just think yourself lucky that nothing is going to try to kill you.”



  In three hours: “Anybody, please reply! Shit, shit, shit! Who's that? Is that you, Sally? Wh...”